Yeah. It's a hard question, honestly, and I only arrived at a decent answer for me (indie software dev) after sitting with it for a few years.

A few things that've been helpful for me:

* HealthyGamerGG's Youtube channel (the quarter life crisis vid is excellent)

* Self-Care Tips For Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (a lot of people's values were given by their parents)

* Therapy

* Mindfulness practice