I can't speak to what has happened with Buildifier, but in general you are right. It has to be a hard rule that if you change the format rules, you have to reformat everything to match.
If that means it's too hard to change the format rules, then don't change the format rules. And if you don't reformat, then it has to be a clear rule known to everyone (or written down somewhere you can point to) that incidental formatting changes are acceptable and not something you are allowed to push back on.
I can speak to Go and gofmt, and there we are VERY reluctant to change formatting rules. It does happen for the odd corner case once in a while, but nothing that would cause "changes far beyond my 2-line fix".
If that means it's too hard to change the format rules, then don't change the format rules. And if you don't reformat, then it has to be a clear rule known to everyone (or written down somewhere you can point to) that incidental formatting changes are acceptable and not something you are allowed to push back on.
I can speak to Go and gofmt, and there we are VERY reluctant to change formatting rules. It does happen for the odd corner case once in a while, but nothing that would cause "changes far beyond my 2-line fix".