Somewhat disputing definitions - he’s talking about the low stakes idle hedonistic “happiness” from commonly thought of as pleasurable things (brunch, camping, food/drinks with friends, etc.) vs. the type of more difficult stuff that while maybe less pleasant in the day to day moment is often more fulfilling over longer time horizons. Not worth arguing about the word meaning rather than just taking the underlying argument for what it is (imo).

One take away I had from Tim Kreider’s “I Wrote This Book Because I Love You” was that everyone he met who was older and unmarried had a certain aloofness about them or continued search for meaning. This largely wasn’t present in those that had families. We have a strongly selected source of fulfillment baked in as part of the human experience, it may not be for everyone but it’s probably not something that should be dismissed lightly.

Looking at old people and what they regret (and what they value) at the end of their life can be a way to help make fulfilling life decisions, or at least try to steer things in that direction.

> he’s talking about the low stakes idle hedonistic “happiness” from commonly thought of as pleasurable things (brunch, camping, food/drinks with friends, etc.)

But it doesn't sound like they were happy even by this definition..

This is a mistake in my original comment above. My first use of "happy" should have been replaced with "satisfied" or "fulfilled." My sloppiness confused the message a bit.